Friday, March 19, 2004

The Evil Tweety-bird

The Evil Tweety-bird
Friday, March 19, 2004
9:46:00 AM CST

19 Mar 2004

I know that at times, we all live vicariously though others and their experiences. Wade just returned from Landstuhl, Germany this week after having his kidney stones broken up and passed. We were chatting yesterday and he says to me, "Dave man, I don't know what I'm going to do about this BX manager chick. Let's do a (South Park) Kyle's Mom here, "What, what, what?"

"Yeah man, she has been stalking me ever since I was talking with her when we were in Doha (Kuwait). She's like knocking on the door of the tent at all hours looking for me." So I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe,Wade has a little bit of an active imagination. I just explained to him that maybe she just needs to talk to someone and you've been nice to her, so she just wants to talk.

So last night I'm in bed reading and around 1930 and I hear a knock at the door. Well, I know it ain't for me, so I go back to reading. 2000, another knock at the tent door. Ignore it, it goes away. 2030, I had to make a pit stop and just about ran into her. She's been hanging around the whole time waiting to pounce on Wade when he comes around the dark corner. "Have you seen Wade? Is he back from the office yet? Is he in bed yet? Do you know where he is?"

Not wanting to accept this invite into Wade's worst nightmare, I said no, that I hadn't seen him and don't know where he is. She still didn't go away. She kind of looks like the giant evil Tweety-bird in the Looney Toons cartoon but with dyed white hair--you know, the Tweety that took the evil doctors medicine and turned into the scary Tweety. The one with the big fangs and started to chase Sylvester around.

Wade was saying that Tweety turned up at the tent again this morning around 0700 knocking on the door. She woke up Phil our site supervisor and was asking for Wade!! Phil's like, "I don't want to get involved in your love life!" Wade is like, "She ain't any part of my love life or life period." Dan is like, "You laid the pipe...." Wade is like, "I ain't laid no pipe!" And I'm like, "Boy am I glad I'm not involved in this one!" Since she is a BX/PX manager over at BIAP, my best guess is that she is home-delivering that gross of condoms that Wade ordered and seeing if he needs any help testing them.
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