Sunday, April 10, 2005

!Yo Quiero Taco Bell!

10 April 2005

Breaking news directly from page 4 of the Sunday edition of Stars and Stripes!!

“…the first Taco Bell in the Middle East will open in Kuwait by the end of the month, and the first in Iraq will come by the end of May.”

Whoo-hoo! I’ll be gettin back just in time, now won’t I? It is hard to believe how much of America has been brought over here in just a short period of time. Burger King, Pizza Hut, Subway Sandwiches, Popeye’s Chicken, Green Beans Coffee Shops and now Taco Bell. All we need now is a Wendy’s and we’re all fixed up. Of course, Wendy’s has to first finish giving Ms. Ayala the finger…for real, but this time in court!

Then tonight we had a visit by the Charlie Daniels Band. I stopped by for part of the concert, but they started at 7pm and I didn’t get off work till 8pm. No big deal. It is the thought that counts. All the comedians and bands that come over here and give of themselves is really quite a charge for the troops and civilians here. That continued support means so much. Now if you want something that would really boost moral, where’s that bee-otch, Jane Fonda at? We want her to come and pay us a visit in the Middle East! She can do her “Iraq – Look at me - Self-Serving, “I’m So Concerned and Caring”, Blundering-Idiot, Book Promotion Tour. I heard that she will provide the tar and feathers.

One other thing from the Stars and Stripes that really got my undies in a bundle today. Leo Shane III on page 6 writes, “The U.S. House of Representatives is considering legislation to help servicemembers avoid costly short-term loans by limiting what companies can charge.

Rep. Sam Graves, R-Mo., introduced a bill earlier this year to cut down on those companies’ business by capping all loans to servicemembers at no more than a 36 percent annual percentage rate.”

Okay, now most of you who know me know that I’m pretty much a “less government is better” and an avid “States rights” apostle. I don’t know whether to cheer that someone on the “R” side of the House is working to protect knucklehead airmen, soldiers and seamen from getting themselves neck-deep in debt on their meager military salaries (since an earlier article discussed that most of the high-interest, quick-loan places are located near military bases), or whether to take a “less government” approach in favor of business. Although in these days of very low interest rates, I honestly think that “Uncle Guido” is probably providing better and lower interest rates than 36%!

What is the difference between a broken knee-cap or two and the new anti-bankruptcy legislation preventing these same young, inexperienced airmen, soldiers and seamen from being able to ever pull themselves up and get out of the debt these same slimey lenders have snared them into? They are propagating a life for these young people of being forever behind the 8-ball (especially if they choose to make the military their career. Not to mention the bills and meager life they will have once the kids have started coming!)

Anyway, this wonderful legislation is being brought to you by the greedy, thieving, blood-sucking, baby-stealing, booger-slurping, butt-picking...oh, almost forgot scab-picking, banking industry lobbyists. Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend anyone that must work for the banking industry for a living, but I have an avid hatred of any lobbyists. Damned carpetbaggers and snake-oil salesmen.

One side of our society says, “Buy, buy, buy. Gotta keep the economy going. Consumerism is good. Television and advertising have become our elixir which convinces us that we have to spend to be young, be beautiful, be rock-hard and muscled, be loved, be accepted. The Garden of Eden is ours if we only will go ahead and bite the apple – that apple being easy credit at that low, low rate of 36%...but only if you act NOW!

And all that’s left of the other side of society is our retired Grandmothers who keep telling us that we better start saving for our retirement. “You’ll never be able to retire comfortably like me if you don’t put something away today. Those rainy days are-a comin.” But, first off, who wants to imagine themselves as ever being your old Gram in the rocker? When does one finally start to realize their own mortality? I couldn’t tell you as I’m still denying it to myself at almost 39 years old…okay, nearly 45 y/o. Secondly, who needs to worry about rainy days if you’ve got that sleek black “Sclade” (short for Escalade – as in Cadallac) sittin in the driveway with easy payments of $750 per month at 36% for the next…well, forever?

To loosely quote Meatloaf, “What’s it gonna be, boy? Yes, or, or, or…Let me sleep on it…”

Don’t see anything less than instant gratification winning this one. Oddly enough, I think the instant gratification over long-term issue was somewhat touched on in the song too.

So does this make me a bleeding-heart liberal? Maybe for today it does. But you have to take each issue on its’ own merits. I still believe in “States Rights” over any federal intervention…especially on certain other cases that were put to the Supreme Court recently. But we won’t go into that one. The way things are developing, when my time comes, I’ll have to go to Netherlands or Belgium just to arrange my “dirt-nap” on my own grounds.
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