Thursday, May 12, 2005

No Cork in This Bat, Sammy Sosa!

12 May 2005

If you thought that my near-miss with the blue-hair was "it" on Sunday (which I did too), we all were really short-sighted! Sunday was one of those days. So I'm on my way to church (back where I grew up in Clarendon Hills about 35 miles east) on Sunday morning after my '79 Buick incident, just cruising along I-88 (and running late as usual) when traffic about 12 cars ahead comes to a screeching halt. From 75 to 10 mph in seconds flat. As I'm looking up in my rear-view mirror, all I'm seeing coming at me is a big-ass grill. Great, just what I needed this morning; an Expedition Enema! Fortunately, we were in the far left lane and he had the shoulder to pull over and properly decrease his speed (since it was too late to establish a proper following distance, idiot!)

But wait, that was only my second date with destiny. Just when I think I'm off the hook; I'm almost to church (ten minutes late) and I'm on 55th Street headed east. As I'm coming to Holmes Ave to make a left, I start to pull into the left turn lane and what should my wandering eyes see, but a car turning westbound on 55th from Holmes and using my left turn lane as an acceleration lane! All I'm seeing from where I'm at is tall blue hair over the steering wheel and beady eyes poking between the steering wheel and the dash! Maybe I should have stayed in bed this morning. Well, Granny finally acquiesces the lane in our short game of chicken and I get to one piece.

The rest of the week has to be better, right? Well, it has been. Monday I had my date with the doctor. Three weeks ago, she put me on a new blood pressure med. She was going to leave me on Toprol, but as we started discussing "things", a change was needed. My Mom always taught us to be honest about sex and the doctor, so I don't blush too easily about that stuff. Doc Steph (as in Stephanie) says, "I want to double the Toprol dosage, but there may be some side effects." I says (that is the bohemian in me; drives Phil crazy when I say that too! :) ) "Well, what kind of side effects are we talking about?"

Doc Steph: "Well, ED (think Bob Dole) is one of those, but you haven't been experiencing anything like that, right?"
Me: "Actually, I have been, but it hasn't impacted my sex life too much, with me in Iraq."
Doc Steph: (her thinking I'm BSing her and wanting a Viagra cocktail) "Well, what type of symptoms are you having?"
Me: "Things getting up, but not staying up, for one."
Doc Steph: "Okay, let's switch medications then. Diovan HCT is one of the better medications out there and has very few side effects."

I'm not going to BS about my symptoms. If you can't speak candidly to your doctor, you might just as well crawl in a hole. Believe me, they have pretty much heard it all and seen it all...including your interesting body piercings and tatoos (you know, that naked woman tatoo with one leg up the inside of your arm and the other leg running down your side where her legs close together when your arm is at your side? or did you get the two faucet tatoos over your chest that say "hot" and "cold"?) that you got in Thailand on that drunken night after meeting the love of your, life.

So three weeks into Diovan, my BP is great and I can honestly say that there is no cork in my bat, Sammy Sosa! All 100% wood. Now the only problem is whether Cigna will send my medications to Iraq. The Army have been real shits about providing civilian contractors any meds. They have us send some form to San Antonio only to have it get sucked into the ionosphere and we never receive the meds we need.

Doesn't matter how important of a job you hold, as a civilian, the Army has been not-so-accomodating about the med situation for us. I'm waiting right now to hear back from Cigna after a call tomorrow. I have the prescription and I may just have to take it with me and try to get regular refills at Victory. It isn't a matter of patient wellness that they are concerned with so much as a matter of Army Doctor Ego. They didn't write the Rx, so they are going to make you beg to get the med from them.

Still running this week. It's been cool and rainy the past couple of days. Looking forward to having the old neighbors from Aurora over to the house on Saturday for lunch. I've been running around with my shopping list. Bought a nice spiral-cut ham from Honey Baked Ham for the lunch. It's easy and always good. Starting to pack boxes of toiletries and books to send back to Iraq for my next season. Only 2-1/2 weeks left. I'll be ready.
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