Saturday, November 12, 2005

Bad Things Happen in Threes

“Crap, I just spilled the coffee all over the passenger seat. *That’s* gonna leave a mark!” No use in trying to clean up the coffee at this point, it's all soaked into the seat and it's dark outside and I can't find any papertowel or napkins to soak up what remains. It didn’t help matters any that I parked in an area marked for military police AND an MP just came up to chase me out of there. Guess I was lucky he didn’t issue me a ticket.

Wednesday, Alex had the vehicle and was over by the coffee shop when he got pulled over by the MP’s. “Get back in your vehicle!”, blared over the MP loudspeaker. When he does, the MP comes over to him and advises him he was speeding. “Did you know that you were going 8 mph in a 5 mph zone, sir?”

I know, you’re thinking at this point that the damned vehicle idles at about 8 mph and the average walker probably walks at about 4 mph! This should enlighten you somewhat to the term “military intelligence.” It's almost amazing that no speeding tickets have been issued to joggers in this 5 mph speed zone!

But, today was the topper. One of our new employees that just got up here from Kuwait about three weeks ago took the truck over to Slayer to go over to the PX. On his way back, he took a wrong turn and ended up on the Highway to Hell. Personally, I would have been suspicious as soon as I was weaving through barricades and saw the open highway that I hadn’t seen on the drive over there. But I guess the new surroundings didn’t raise any of his suspicions. Finally, it hit him that he was headed the wrong way.

Sounds like the U turn and his fast acceleration back toward the guard shack raised immediate suspicions with the MP’s though. They fired one warning shot and when he was still accelerating toward the gate, they started pumping shots into our beloved truck. He finally stopped the vehicle, got out and was waving his ID over his head shouting that he was an American.

In hindsight, I guess I really didn’t need to feel bad or lose any sleep over having spilled coffee on the seat the other day, huh? I’m sure that the (to put it in "olestra" terms) leaky bowel stain on the driver’s side of the seat has left a bigger mark!

Alex is telling me that I’m going to need to find another way to BIAP next week when I go on leave. He duly noted that the radiator on our truck is shot to hell!
Comments: Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?