Thursday, August 28, 2008

My Mundane Existence

06 August 2008

Okay, so it isn’t THAT bad, but these dog days of summer all seem to run together this time of year. Things on the Middle Eastern Front are quieter than they have been at any time I can remember here since 2004. (But don't worry, Ramadan is just around the corner!!)

I’m keeping up with my running around Lost Lake even in the 95+ degree weather by the time I hit the road at 0930am. The old Elbogen is all healed and a little touchy at times, but nearly back to normal. All in all, there isn’t much to write about so I thought I’d tell you a bit about the ordinary stuff of our existence here.

Visitors arrived yesterday to our building, so we were instructed to perform a massive clean up of our work areas to show them that we really aren’t the pigs we really are. Reasonable desk chairs are still hard to come by…or the ones that you might be able to pull a 12 hour shift in without needing traction for weeks after a shift in them. So the Fancy Desk Chair Shuffle was in full force. You almost require those electric cart mules they use at Walmart to move the good chairs down the hall to the big conference room so that the DV’s (distinguished vegetables) will be able to sit comfortably for some PowerPoint Presentation from Hell that they didn’t want to see anyway without ending their visit in traction. They only came to visit because they heard we had the good coffee anyway!

Well it was a good thing that they didn’t have to go to the bathroom, cuz that would have given them a good scare. We have these bathroom trailers that are nothing more than indoor outhouses that are always malfunctioning. The women’s is always pristine (from what I’ve heard), but the men’s is always nasty.

I always thought that having a urinal in the bathroom at home one day would be stylish, (and I’m sure it is in a home as I saw one in a house in a friend of mine in Netherlands when I was there in 2002). But with all the fat bastards we have here that haven’t seen their toes since high school, it is truly amazing that they don’t piss on their shoes! They certainly can’t hit a big old white porcelain mini-sink mounted on the wall, let alone remember to flush it! How the heck are the urinal mints supposed to do their job if they never get wet cuz the guys that can’t see past their belly-buttons never hit the damned things!!???

Let’s not even go into describing the four stalls with the funky shaped toilets. Okay, let's...the toilets aren’t as funky as the ones we had in Germany that looked like you were supposed to front-mount to do your business. Those had these interesting shelves inside the toilet to poop on like you were supposed to inspect your BM before you sent it away with a rush of water! I guess it might be convenient if you had kids at home that kept swallowing pocket change, but otherwise I honestly can’t think of any reason for pooping on a shelf for self-inspection. But back to our indoor outhouses…Signs were even posted above the dainty narrow little toilets reminding you to use the brush after you’re done. Some smart alek hung a toothbrush with a sign that complained that it tasted funny when they brushed!

Yep, if we didn’t have bathroom humor here, we’d be pretty hard up for entertainment.
Trailer life is but trailer life. I got a bit worried two days ago when my A/C stopped working. It just took a bit of a break. I don’t set it to Arctic setting, but for some reason it froze up on me. So when I went to the shower, I turned it to fan and it thawed out. I left it on fan overnight while at work and by the next morning, it was working again. A/C’s are our life-blood here and it takes forever to get KBR to fix or replace them when they go bad. The maintenance guys were just here a few weeks back to wash the filters, so you’d figure you have no worries. You just never know.

My biggest gripe right now is that the PX is all out of peanut butter. After living at a GSU (Geographically Separated Unit) for three years in Germany, you’d think I’d be a little better at squirreling things away. Should have bought two or three when they had it. How soon we forget how shortages are. Who knows? Next week, the PX will have shelf-loads of the stuff. It is always hit and miss around here like it is now with Jelly. Friggin boatloads of jelly and not a jar of peanut butter to be had.
Comments: Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?